General rules of Physics are suspended,
Only these rules of Logic apply!
Once you enter the..... Theatre!

In is down, and Down is front.
Out is up, and Up is back.
Off is out, and On is in.
Left is right, and Right is left.
A Drop Cloth shouldn't, and a Block and Fall should do neither.
A Prop doesn't, and a Cove has no water.
Tripping is ok.
The Running Crew rarely get anywhere.
A Flood involves no water, and a Flash doesn't include removing clothing.
A Trap will not catch anything.
A Cookie won't satisfy a hunger.
A Strike is work (in fact a lot of work).
The Dutchman won't get angry when you paint him.
You can't smoke a Hemp, but you can light a Fill, and the Ghost light's pretty useful.
You can't get hit by a truck (well, actually, you can, but it's highly embarrassing).
The Stage Kitchen shouldn't have a refrigerator.
A Greenroom, thankfully, usually isn't.
... Now that you're fully versed in Theatrical Logic,
...Break a Leg!
....... But not really.