Some Things Never Said In The Theatre

By the Producer...
- Of course there's enough money to go around
- We've got money left over!
- No thanks, I don't drink.

By the Director...
- No, today is the tech rehearsal, we'll rework that scene later.
- I think the scene changes are too fast.
- Of course I think we'll be ready in time for opening night
- The crew? They're all wonderful.
- No thanks, I don't drink

By the Stage Manager...
- Looks like there'll be time for a third dress rehearsal.
- Take your time getting back from break
- We've been ready for hours.
- The headsets are working perfectly.
- That didn't take long
- No thanks, I don't drink.

By the Scenery Designers...
- Yes, it is absolutely my fault that the set looks awful
- You know, maybe you're right, the red did look better
- The director is right, I obviously didn't understand what she was saying.
- We have too many varieties of paint in stock, I can't choose.
- No thanks, I don't drink.

By the Actors...
- No, don't, let's not talk about me.
- I really think my big scene should be cut
- My costume is very comfortable
- I love my shoes
- No problem, I can do that for myself
- I'm sure someone told me there was a wall there, I probably just forgot.
- Without the crew, the show wouldn't happen; let's give them some applause
- No thanks, I don't drink.

By the Stage Crew...
- There's room for that over there.
- We'll get in early tomorrow to finish it off.
- No, no, I'm sure that is our job.
- Anything I can do to help?
- Can we do that scene change again please?
- I really love this show.
- Without the cast, the show wouldn't happen; let's stop throwing props at them.
- No thanks, I don't drink.